North Node in Cancer - Coming home to ourselves

From 2018-2020 the North Node is in Cancer, the sign of the divine mother, ruler of the 4th house - our foundation, the home we experienced growing up and the home within ourselves. 

What are the Nodes? The nodes of the moon are what cause the eclipses, they are always moving in reverse and are associated with past lives and karma. In our natal charts we all have our own personal North and South node. The nodes are always opposite one another, in polarity they show us who were were in past lives and what karma we are releasing in this lifetime to fulfill our personal destiny. Look for the upside down horseshoe in your natal chart to see what sign and house yours falls into*

Regardless if this is your natal nodal placement, you will feel profound effects of this polarity throughout 2018-2020. Take a look at your chart on astro.com or on the time passages app, to see where the transit North Node in Cancer falls in your chart. The house it is transiting, as well as planets it is aspecting will bring the new path, while simultaneously, the house where the South Node in Capricorn is in will be where you are releasing karma in order to make room for the gifts of the Cancer North Node. 

I like to think of the transit nodes as helping us fulfill collective destiny and releasing collective karma. We are universally all one, we are all connected, and we feel this energy on personal and global levels. The previous two years the North Node was in Leo, this energy helped guide all of us to move toward authenticity, how we want to be seen and experienced on the stage of life. The South Node in the polar opposite sign of Aquarius helped us balance putting our needs first - Leo, from a place of authenticity, so we were able to show up in service to the collective - Aquarius.

The eclipses triggered throughout those 2 years rocked us to our cores, breaking up ancient patterning and very old karma around believing in ourselves, self worth, and having the life of our dreams. Nearly everyone I know experienced great loss. Loss of friends, lovers, pets, family members, jobs, opportunities, physical property, and everything else we all relied on that was not part of our grand design. Hopefully we are at an evolved place of deep knowing that heart break is really break-through and heart opening. However, the things we were able to achieve during this time are of long lasting importance. 

Personally, I left a lucrative career, a marriage, a lovely house by the ocean, and everything inside of that house. I packed my car, and moved across the country, because the pull inside of me to be my authentic self was too strong to stay hidden under what I had built for myself. None of those things, possessions, or money were coming from my soul's purpose. Those things were coming from my South Node. For a moment, consider your own South Node. Consider who you may have been in a past life and how it affects you in this life. The South Node is our comfort zone, but when we rest in the comfort zone, there is no growth. 

Natally, I am a Cancer North Node/Capricorn South Node. It is my comfort zone to be a workaholic. It is my comfort zone to place restrictions on myself and my relationships - if I allow myself to have them. It is my comfort zone to push myself and others to achieve constantly without rest. All masculine energy, no feminine energy. All yang, no yin. All Emperor, no High Empress. This left me with nothing but a growing void of emptiness that no amount of money could fill. 

I began the path toward my North Node when I gave up my old life. I stopped working for over a year. Living on my savings, I rented my first apartment, a clumsy journey where I made many, many mistakes - and learned the most valuable lessons. I've actually moved 5 times in the past 2 years. I had never had a home of my own. I had never been solely responsible for just myself and my space. At times I felt like a child learning to walk. I judged myself very harshly. How had I been able to own a business, work 2 full time jobs, and save enough money to live on for 2 years, but I could barely feed myself and clean my space? Home was always something I thought existed outside of myself. I looked for mother figures in my friends, romantic partners, authority figures, but never within myself. 

Things I learned from releasing my Capricorn South Node - I am safe within myself. When my inner life is nurtured, my outer life reflects that care. When my inner child is mothered, my outer adult can nurture others. When I feel fully cared for and safe, I feel true abundance. 

Please do not be so hard on yourself if you are hitting brick walls at this time. Pluto and saturn are very close to the South Node. This is a time of releasing toxic masculinity, and part of that is the societal urge to be in achievement mode 100% of the time. The more you lean into receptivity, care, and compassion - for yourself and others, the more you will actually be able to achieve.